I already know that no one knows what to say or how to talk to us. I have learned that over the past few years. But damn. It is really unfortunate how people speak of life and death and everything in between. "So very sorry for your loss." I wish people would just stop at the "So very sorry" part and end with "We love you." Evangeline is not lost. She is not gone. She may be an angel but that doesn't really help right now. She is dead. She is not alive. Say it. Breathe it. But the word loss just completely undervalues these emotions I am feeling right now. It also reinforces the overwhelming guilt I feel about pretty much everything. You may as well say that I killed her, because the fact that I "lost her" feels just as bad. I feel guilt to the depth of my being that my body failed to protect my baby. I don't need you to rub it in saying that I lost her. It's like the word miscarriage. It implies blame on the person carrying. I digress....
Own it. Speak it. Evangeline died. We did not lose her.
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