Happy Anniversary

Happy 3rd anniversary my love. It means so much more than this but all I can think of now is that it has been three years of trying to have a family. The last time that I had a truly fantastic day full of joy and light was our wedding day. 3 years and 4 losses. The dreams of my 4 babies. The first three were terrible enough; though they were all first trimester, the trauma was so very real. And then there is my Evangeline... Seeing you as a Daddy was one of the best things I have ever seen. I hope desperately that I will see you as a Daddy to a living baby. The way you held our daughter, so gently and with such confidence... pure instinct. I know you were so nervous that you wouldn't know what to do, but you were flawless. I only wish you had been able to hold her longer. I held her and knew that joy for her entire life, and I am so very grateful that you were able to know that joy too. I only wish we had more time with her. I can't imagine traversing this path with anyone else. I hate that I have to be on it anyways, but am so very thankful to have you by my side. I imagine that not every couple is able to survive this much pain... lucky us, huh? You are my best friend, my rock, and the Daddy to my babies. They are so very lucky to have you. I am too.